"You really want to thank a teacher? Bourbon, lager and/or a bottle of wine."
"I think it's great to provide meals for the unfortunate on Thanksgiving Day, but what about the other 364 days of the year?"
"I asked the clerk at Kmart if she had to work Thanksgiving Day. She said, 'Oh no, ma'am, I don't have to - I want to. I need the extra money. Times are tough. I'm glad we're open Thanksgiving Day, because we get paid extra for it.' It's not that Kmart is greedy; they're helping people out."
"Thank you to the man at the post office on Eisenhower. He was very kind and thanks to his help, I was able to get a package mailed to my grandchildren for Thanksgiving. He was very kind and patient with me and I appreciate it."
"To the sourpuss who was so against the commercial about the young people decorating an older lady's apartment: It wasn't about how much money it cost; it was about the season. Do you not get what it was about?"
"After the squares have been redone and look so lovely, why do we have awful looking electrical panels and outlets just sticking up, unshielded or anything?"
"It would be nice if the DOT named the new Truman Parkway bridge over the Vernon River 'The Vernon River Bridge.'"
"How would the gift recipient know if a gift was bought on Thanksgiving Day? The best way to keep people from shopping on Thanksgiving is to not shop on Thanksgiving! Then the stores won't be open!"
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