"The best advice I can give you: Quit smoking, quit alcohol and cut up your credit cards."
"The USA has become a mental institution with Trump as the chief administrator, leading us on a self-destructive path."
"Has anyone ever watched the movie 'Planet of the Apes?'"
"Someone made the comment about Mark Streeter is on vacation and they hope that he never comes back. That's very rude. You need to think that whoever wrote this, their upbringing that was very, very rude. I just can't understand that."
"Maybe if you had a life and got out of the house sometimes, you'd find out the Beatles [tribute] show the other night was quite good to a sold-out audience."
"Obviously the person that authorized and selected the new Sudoku format has never played Sudoku. The thin type makes it very difficult to keep track of where you are in the puzzle."
"David Perdue: Liar, liar, pants on fire."
"Hillary is an intelligent embarrassment."
"I'm stupid. Please make the crossword puzzle easier."
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